I once hired a young man to do some cleaning up around the office. He seemed like a nice young man, obviously came from a family with very little money, and his speech was a little... wish I had a better word... under educated. After a few days I noticed he had a "chip on his shoulder" so to speak and would challenge people who asked him (politely) to do things. A woman asked him to lean up a water spill in her office and he made some remark about women should know how to handle a mop. Rats. Now I'm going to have to explain, without making the kid feel bad, that he can't do that. I usually try to inspire people to do a better job when I'm stuck with this task. I tell them that all work has dignity, and I would mop the floor better than anyone if that were my job, and so on. Work is dignified, it shows motivation.
A few days later he's in conversation with someone else and I hear him use the "N" word about five times. That's it. He's gone.
It's not that I don't give second chances, but we had African American people who worked there who could have overheard, we had customers... and that kind of attitude might take more than one of my pep talks/corrections to accomplish. Plus, his father was a "preacher."
Honestly, I hadn't heard the word in years. I tried to remember the last time I heard it. I couldn't (unless I went back to maybe the early 60's and then I couldn't remember a specific incident.)
I interacted then and now with people of all types. Socially, it was all over the board too... I volunteer a lot, so I talked to everyone from the wealthiest to the poorest in our city. I live in a fairly large city and you have to go pretty far to get to the rural areas.
But instantly I realized that anyone in the "highest" of social circles (again, not mine--I'm solidly middle class) would have been shunned-- literally out of the group, if they had dared use that word. It was considered vulgar, and disgusting and no one would be accepted in any of the groups I interacted with, if they used that word. In other words you would be dropped from any list and "not invited back." It would be hard to get an invitation to a PTA meeting and I live in the SOUTH. But my state went for Obama (yes, I'm bragging.) I'm white, and I say that only to underscore how weird it was to hear that word. I mean NO ONE uses it.
So, I'm thinking, who in the world would use that word today and why in the world would they use it? I mean the kid was not wealthy but he wasn't exactly "right off the farm" as they used to say.
And then I got it. The people who use that word feel so little self esteem that they have to make other people lower, so that they can feel superior. There is no other reason for such outright cruelty. That was about four years ago and boy, can I find a bunch of people with such low self esteem now, that they will either use the word, or find a euphemism, or compile a photo or something. They think of themselves as poor white trash and this is how they overcome it.
The irony is that the use of any of these things makes someone poor white trash. The surprise is how much rich white trash there is out there. Think of it like this, if you saw a kid in a wheelchair would you make fun of him? No. Well, guess what, people do.
Lots of people make fun of other people who are different than they are. But it only says something about the person doing the name calling. Whether it's making fun of or disparaging a handicapped kid, a woman, an African American or a gay person (well there could be some denial going on there), but at any rate it says one thing... and that thing is that the speaker, the one who compiled the photo, the one who mocks or makes fun, is trying to mask what the feel about themselves. Why else degrade yourself with the language?
The frightening thing is how they've come out of the woodwork. They have groups, they form organizations of hate. Gee, they have a cable channel. And when you mix loathing with jealousy it can truly turn ugly. This is who the Becks of the world appeal to and why. The group thing makes it more "acceptable" in their eyes.
But using this language is no different than hanging around with a gang whose guns (they think) give them some "street cred." A thug is a thug is a thug. And when someone uses this method to seem superior is says one thing-- I'm trash.